If you work with children on a daily basis, if you have ever or are currently raising children, or if you can even faintly remember being a child, then you can identify with a predicament in which I found myself a couple of years ago.
There are those little words in life - substitutes, if you will, that we use for "unmentionable" things. They are those funny little "hush" words like "poopoo", "teetee", or "potty". They are considered publically more appropriate than use of the actual word they replace. This is why we don't see 3yr olds running around whining, "I have to have a bowel movement, Mom!" Just doesn't even sound right, come on!
I am sure we can all remember sniggering at the words "goober", "doodie", "boobie", etc. I remember the shock and awe of hearing, for the first time, the word "pitywee". WHAT! And oh the giggling that did persue!
My predicament came when I found myself talking to my son during his bathtime when he was around 3 or 4 yrs old. I noticed him looking intently at his chest. He finally curiously posed the question, "Mommy, what do you call these?" Not sure exactly what "these" he was addressing, I answered generally, "That's your chest."
"No Mommy. These." For some reason, he wasn't satisfied with such a general answer. "That's your chest, son." Getting exasperated with my lack of understanding and non-chalant answer, he pointed straight to his nipples and stated very loudly, "NOT THAT! THESE!" I have always tried to shoot straight with my kids, but with some sort of common sense restraint mixed in there. Realizing I couldn't squirm out of this awkward hold in time unless I totally made up something (which I've never been quick enough on the draw to do), I sighed. "They're nipples, but you might not need to say that out loud in public." My warning was void because he didn't even like that word. "That's weird. Do I have to call them that?" Relieved, I elated back, "NO - Sure you don't! You can call them anything you want. A lot of people make up names for their private parts. That's fine!"
Without hesitation, he announced, "I'm gonna call mine Trooches!" What can you say...
But no - the story doesn't end there, my friend. You know how we love to provide our children the opportunity to have a pet in life (or in my opinion, it's generally a good idea)? Well, weeks later, while cruising the isles of a local pet store, my son and daughter spied an ever popular Beta fish. How easy, right? Take it home, give it some food now and then, clean the bowl (on occasion). Got it. So we purchased the little guy and took him home. Once home and settling in with our litte Beta, the inevitable "name game" pursued. After throwing out a couple of cute fishy names, I was once again shocked and awed when my son settled the whole delima by very calmly claiming, "I am calling him Trooch." And that was that - my daughter let out a deep "Trooooooch" and the name stuck.
I can say that, to this day, it is very hard to look at a Beta and not think, "Hey, look at that little nipple swimming around in the bowl."
So, be nice to your Trooch today! Give a Trooch a home! Don't forget to feed your Trooch, etc. etc. And here's hoping that in some language, somewhere in this world, the word "Trooch" is not a negative, offensive thing.
(In the years to follow, from the same place that I am sure the word "Trooch" was plucked, my daughter decided to name a certain anatomical feature "Ladybug". And, thanks to her, I again have a whole new view of a seemingly innocent little creature.
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Friday, February 5, 2010
Fun & Boogers at the Dentist!
Well - I went in to the dentist to have my bi-annual cleaning and the girl that always cleans my teeth started explaining why there was a man outside working. Her explanation went something like this....
"Sorry for all the noise, and if/when a man comes in and out, it's just the plumber we have here working on a problem we've had. Our pipes are stopped up. The plumber just explained to me that we have a big problem and he doesn't think he will be able to "flush it out". He told me there were "feminine products" blocking the pipes. Can you believe it! And of course, I am the one who had to go tell my boss (the dentist). My goodness, if either one of them is married or has been around women, they should know we have that to deal with anyway." (All the while she is picking and scraping and checking my teeth & I am making guttural utterances as best I can in between having spit sucked out of my mouth!) She continues, "...and my goodness there's like 5, 7, 10 girls here sometime! I mean they should understand, right?" Guh Huh...sliieewwwwpppp (my attempt at an answer & spit). "...he asked if I wanted to go see them - well naw! You know, they'll probably start making us throw those in the trash now...can you imagine the smell?!" (Then she and I go into a discussion about feminine products, etc. and their "proper" disposal. THEN....)
Subject change!
She had dropped the suction thingy once onto the floor and had changed it. Hygeine! We continue to talk and she splatters some of the polish in my face with a piece landing in the very edge of my nose - easily gotten out, but I was waiting until she finished the current section of teeth. Well, she reaches down with her glove and flicks it away. Thankful as I was, I started giggling and she started into her explanation of why she flicked something out of my nose. We both started laughing. She said she wouldn't normally do that, but that it was just right there on the edge, not actually IN my nose - no big deal. I said, "Well, that's a good friend right there." Then SHE started giggling. Then she dropped the suctioner AGAIN and said, "Hold on, let me replace that!" Which wouldn't have been such a big deal had she not just shot a gallon of water into my mouth preparing me for a big rinse! She said, "Oh No! I'm out! I'm out of suction tubes! Let me go get another one. Be right back!" All the while I'm trying not to laugh and spit water to the wall! Not to mention trying not to look like I'm hiding a canary in my mouth when the dentist & other people walk by and peer in!! She runs back and replaces it and, well, she tore one of the ends out of her glove. Hygeine, remember? Oh well..."just keep going - I'm not scared if you aren't," I told her.
What does that have to do w/a booger you might ask....
She then proceeded to tell me that she had one patient who told her that he used to use a dentist that didn't use masks while doing dental work. She said that was just not hygienic! He said he agreed, telling her about a time that he had to have some lengthy work done and all the while this dentist dude is sitting above him leaning over with the most atrocious booger just hanging by a hair from his nose. He told her that every time the dentist would breath in and out, the booger would move! He was TERRIFIED the whole time that the booger would, at any moment, leap from the dentist's nose and land in his gaping mouth!! EEEEEWWWWWWW!!!!! Very unhygenic, wouldn't you say?
Needless to say, we both laughed and thanked God for hygiene masks!!! And I rethought where her finger might have been.
Fun times at the dentist!!
Anellen
PS - guess what I saw as I was leaving the dentist's office - a sidewalk full of FEMININE PRODUCTS!!! (Yes, used!)
"Sorry for all the noise, and if/when a man comes in and out, it's just the plumber we have here working on a problem we've had. Our pipes are stopped up. The plumber just explained to me that we have a big problem and he doesn't think he will be able to "flush it out". He told me there were "feminine products" blocking the pipes. Can you believe it! And of course, I am the one who had to go tell my boss (the dentist). My goodness, if either one of them is married or has been around women, they should know we have that to deal with anyway." (All the while she is picking and scraping and checking my teeth & I am making guttural utterances as best I can in between having spit sucked out of my mouth!) She continues, "...and my goodness there's like 5, 7, 10 girls here sometime! I mean they should understand, right?" Guh Huh...sliieewwwwpppp (my attempt at an answer & spit). "...he asked if I wanted to go see them - well naw! You know, they'll probably start making us throw those in the trash now...can you imagine the smell?!" (Then she and I go into a discussion about feminine products, etc. and their "proper" disposal. THEN....)
Subject change!
She had dropped the suction thingy once onto the floor and had changed it. Hygeine! We continue to talk and she splatters some of the polish in my face with a piece landing in the very edge of my nose - easily gotten out, but I was waiting until she finished the current section of teeth. Well, she reaches down with her glove and flicks it away. Thankful as I was, I started giggling and she started into her explanation of why she flicked something out of my nose. We both started laughing. She said she wouldn't normally do that, but that it was just right there on the edge, not actually IN my nose - no big deal. I said, "Well, that's a good friend right there." Then SHE started giggling. Then she dropped the suctioner AGAIN and said, "Hold on, let me replace that!" Which wouldn't have been such a big deal had she not just shot a gallon of water into my mouth preparing me for a big rinse! She said, "Oh No! I'm out! I'm out of suction tubes! Let me go get another one. Be right back!" All the while I'm trying not to laugh and spit water to the wall! Not to mention trying not to look like I'm hiding a canary in my mouth when the dentist & other people walk by and peer in!! She runs back and replaces it and, well, she tore one of the ends out of her glove. Hygeine, remember? Oh well..."just keep going - I'm not scared if you aren't," I told her.
What does that have to do w/a booger you might ask....
She then proceeded to tell me that she had one patient who told her that he used to use a dentist that didn't use masks while doing dental work. She said that was just not hygienic! He said he agreed, telling her about a time that he had to have some lengthy work done and all the while this dentist dude is sitting above him leaning over with the most atrocious booger just hanging by a hair from his nose. He told her that every time the dentist would breath in and out, the booger would move! He was TERRIFIED the whole time that the booger would, at any moment, leap from the dentist's nose and land in his gaping mouth!! EEEEEWWWWWWW!!!!! Very unhygenic, wouldn't you say?
Needless to say, we both laughed and thanked God for hygiene masks!!! And I rethought where her finger might have been.
Fun times at the dentist!!
Anellen
PS - guess what I saw as I was leaving the dentist's office - a sidewalk full of FEMININE PRODUCTS!!! (Yes, used!)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)