Let's "Makeup"

Makeup...it's a necessary evil for some of us. While some natural beauties can meander their way through the world with the option of to wear or not to wear, men constantly flocking to their side to admire, the rest of us all but drown in the cosmetic river, trying every flotation device that's on the market to keep us afloat. No, I'm not bitter - I admire natural beauty also, it would just be nice to have the option!

I remember being in 6th grade and my mom letting me put on PINK EYE SHADOW! OMG-as "they" say. (And for those smart-elics out there - no - none of us really know who "they" are! It's that little elusive group we all keep following after we throw Mr. & Mrs. Jones under the bus.)

But, yes! Finally...I could wear makeup! Whether wearing a shade of opaque, sparkly stuff on your eyes that no one even realizes you have on actually qualifies you as an officiado of facepaint, I'm not sure. But you couldn't have told me I wasn't official.

Then came high school and college - WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN CAUGHT DEAD WITHOUT IT. Quit breathing sighs of relief, some of you! Lord knows I imagined the severe chiding I would have gotten, the outcast I would have become, and all the gossip that would have bred had I not worn my mascara. Good grief.

Then marriage - whole 'nother monster there. First impressions have to be kept, right? (For how long - it varies, I guess. Couple to couple. Individual to individual.) Well, for me - it wasn't until I moved to a large city and had just had my second child. I really can't tell you what motivated me to step foot into the fanciest Wal-Mart in all of Mississippi at that moment with two small children and not a shred of makeup on my face, but I brazenly walked where not many a Southern lady had before (not counting those seen on People of Walmart - love it!). Or so I conjured in my mind. I felt like I was walking into church in a nightie with no undies on! OMG, folks, OMG (in my own vocabulary, OMW - Oh My Word)! But, yes, I did it, and that day was seered into my mind forevermore. I know - don't say it. No one noticed and no one cared! WHAT FREEDOM!!

Consequently, from that day forward, one might actually spy me without the subtle shades of man-made goop adorning my mug. Recently, my son (who, bless his heart, is still young and halariously honest) caught me in just such a state. Keep in mind that I had even been at work all day without the stuff. "Momma. Do you have on any makeup?" "Well, no, son. Why?" (Be careful when asking that loaded question to anyone under 30 or over 80!) "I didn't think so." "Well - is that a bad thing!?" "You just look the same."

For a few seconds - horror played the keys of my backbone and hit every nerve from hair tip to toe nail! But I recovered when, in a few seconds, he quickly replied, "What? You look good either way. I just asked!" (Bless him! And may he continue to grow to be a very wise man! He's learning!)

Oh, the sigh of relief that blew out was like the Northern wind. Kids are pretty honest, right...right?