Brotherly Kind of Brother-in-Law

Today, I hope you'll read with a little piece of your heart.  I got a call this week from my brother-in-law.  I will try my best to lead up to why I wanted to paint for you a picture of him today...

When I was 3 years old, my sister married Rickey, my only and one-of-a-kind brother-in-law.  I can remember staying with them and playing at their house.  They bought me my first tricycle.  I kept that thing until it literally fell apart from years of taking off from the top of our hill and sailing to the bottom (Lord knows the times we were spared a thousand bloody knees and various other injuries and how many heart attacks my mom had as she peered out the back patio door!).  My brother-in-law always seemed to respect my parents, had time to spend with me, and took care of his family.  I remember him playing hide and seek with me when I would visit them.  I would hide under their little table with metal legs and a red, ball-fringed tableclothe in the living room (of course I was only 3 or 4 - but it's funny the things you remember).  I would peek out from under it and he would catch me every time!  Everyone seemed to love Rickey (and do now - if you know him, you love him).  He's always been fun-loving and goofy as all get out, but most of all, genuine.  Rickey is just...Rickey!

 My sister and brother-in-law sacrificed a lot so that she could return to college later in life and pursue her degree in speech pathology.  When it came time for them to move away so that she could finish her bachelors, Rickey stayed behind to work, living with us and visiting his family when possible.  He tried to drive the long drive to visit with them more often during his work week, but after a pretty bad sleeping-at-the-wheel episode or two (and my sister and mom on his head), he decided it was just too risky and only went when rested.  I can imagine this must have been hard for him due to, not only the fact that he loved my sister, but that they had two young girls at the time. 

During his stay with us, Rickey instilled in me a love for 3 things - baseball, Moon Pies, and RC colas!  I was a teen at the time and in and out a lot.  But every time I would come home from whatever romp I had been on, Rickey would pronounce my arrival with the same greeting..."HEEEY, Annie!"  Now, this was funny to me, and I never failed to get a kick out of it, and to this day - I am still greeted with this same salutation!

After this stint, my sister was able to work toward her masters and, later attain a job in Florida, where she and Rickey went on to add two more beloved daughters to their family.  They now had four girls.  In January of 1999,  my sister and two of her girls were involved in a horrific car accident.  I lost my sister in that accident, and  3 1/2 weeks later lost my 18 year old niece.  A second niece, age 2 1/2 was also involved and was almost left behind had it not been for a very observant EMT.  While my sister and I were never what you would've called "extremely close" as sisterly bonds can be described, we had a special bond created by our 18 year age difference that few share. In the years prior to her accident, we had begun to renew our relationship and were growing closer. I truely miss her...

In the ensuing days, my brother-in-law faced a literal hell that only someone in his shoes could describe.  I wouldn't even begin to imagine a pain to compare to his.  Losing not only a wife, but a daughter, and the life of another hanging in the balance.  The youngest was finally released to come home, but during the meantime, Rickey's days were morbidly consumed with planning 2 funerals, dealing with insurance, and trying to juggle a job to provide for what remained of his family.  Subsequently, he was left caring for a recovering 2 1/2 year old comforting both her and his 6 year old daughter.  My brother-in-law never gave in to the temptation to lay down and quit!  He never pridefully resisted others attempts to help, but at the same time, never took advantage of any pity. 

Last year, I got a call from Rickey.  This time, the "Hey, Annie" had lost a little of it's enthusiasm, but was still spoken with the love it always had been.  Rickey was calling to let me know that he had been in a lot of pain and had made an appointment to see a doctor...the resulting news...he had cancer...Non Hodgkins Lymphoma.  He was still upbeat and ready to face what was ahead.  After chemo and many trying days, he got an "ok" to stop treatments and come back for check ups in the following months.  This chapter ended nicely and he and his family were able to enjoy Christmas.  (Rickey married a wonderful lady a couple of years ago who has served as an awesome mother to his two youngest and a good friend to me.  Funny...but when I speak of them, I call them my brother-in-law and my sister-in-law!  She is very much at his side though whatever life brings them.)

As I said when I started this post, I got another call from Rickey this week...his cancer is back.  Not what anyone wants to hear, but somehow, this kind of news just isn't right for a man like my brother-in-law.  We always reflect on the same question when things like this happen to someone who is so undeserving..."Why him or her?"  I don't know if Rickey has ever asked this question, himself.  But I can tell you that at the end of our conversations, he realizes the severity of his condition or situation at hand but is always thinking of someone else or claims, "It could be so much worse."  Rickey, you truely are a unique and very much loved individual.  Always remember...as my parents used to acknowledge..."there will never be another man like Rickey!"  My kids and I are very lucky to have you in our lives!  We're thinking about you guys and praying for you.  Love you, brother.