What I'm Afraid Of...

I've noticed the trend of having guest writers on blogs, on which I am totally unopinionated.  Last week, however, my paper gun-weilding 11 year old handed me a short (very short) essay he had written on "What I'm Afraid of..." for his fourth grade teacher last year.  Don't ask me what nook or cranny of his backpack it had been stuffed into, but I'm glad he dug it out.  I found it an interesting and amusing read.  I decided to share it in hopes you find it just as entertaining!  And now..."What I'm Afraid of..."

"What I'm Afraid of..."

by Hunter

     I'm afraid of girls.  Why, you ask?  Because they have long hair, fingernails, and terrible tempers!  You can't escape one because they will keep you in their arms.  I can't be near one because they will get me.  Plus, they like boys...wait a minute...I'm a BOY!!!  Ahhhhggg!!!  Am I going to die (now)? (If so,) At least I won't have to suffer at the hands of a girl!  If I were you, I would hide from all those girls!  You better run for your life if you see one.  Of course, I hate running from girls, but I am afraid they will get me.  Those girls have weapons like lip gloss, blow dryers, and other things like that.  But wait!  We have booger blasters, mud-flingers, and underwear cannons!  We have supplies of water balloons and Nerf blasters with strong fire power.  Will it ever be strong enough?  They don't stand a chance because they will run when they see that we play hard!  We will sin this war!

     Of course, when I grow up, I may have a different idea about girls, but I am always going to keep my booger blasters close!

Not too shabby for creativity and humor for a 4th grader...of course, I may be a little partial (maybe).  When asked what the motivation was for writing this, he explained that the girls at school chase some of the boys all over the playground - sometimes he can't even play with his buddies!  He said, not to get him wrong, he liked 'em, but they just wouldn't leave them alone sometimes!  Now, I'm sure that "guy time" is important to a 4th grade dude just trying to "hang out with his buds", but I'm thankful that he isn't rushing the girl thing just yet - the stories I hear!  (There are probably even some 20 & 30 year olds who feel the same way - they can't find a peaceful corner of the playground in which to just hang out with their buds!)  He's growing up, guys, way too quickly!  Oh well, I guess when I get to mourning his lost baby fat and his once hairless underarms and top lip, I'll get out my tear pistol and search for HIS booger blaster!  Hummmm....maybe the underwear cannon explains his room.

Love you, bud!  Keep up the great writing and keep building with that imagination,

Momma