The Four Seasons

No, this is not a blog entry on the luxurious hotel. But after discussing the heat of summer in my last entry, I was reminded about something that I said to one of the roofers. I made the comment that it seems, here in Mississippi, we experience the best of all 4 seasons. When it’s Spring, you see all the plants in bloom, the weather begins to warm up, we get a decent amount of rain (usually), and there are beautiful colors everywhere. Everything seems to come to life (including allergies - oh, sorry, this was supposed to be positive).
When the summer begins to bounce into being, we get lots of (as aforementioned) heat and humidity, but when the weather is cooperating, it can be an extremely nice day. You want to be out soaking up the sun, swimming, skiing, etc!
Then fall appears, the leaves begin to change some of the most beautiful colors – yellows, reds, browns, oranges – it’s simply amazing. Winds begin to blow in a crisper air. A more mild, cool temp pervades as the leaves then begin their descent. And sometimes you can catch the smell of people burning leaves in their yards (this can be good or bad!).
Winter rages in last, with really cold temps that can occasionally fall below freezing. You want to bundle up to go outside. We may see it get down to the negatives a couple of times (and, hey, you people up North and in Canada – don’t burst my bubble! I know I ain’t seen nothin’, as “they” say, but you know, it's just as good as Antarctica to us -LOL!). Here, the warning of snow or ice (and we have actually seen an ice storm or two) sends people rushing to the store to buy up milk, bread, and water. (I’ve never understood why those three, exactly, are the necessities. For me, common sense would say water (yes), bread (ok), but add meat, AND CHOCOLATE! OR ANYTHING SWEET!! And batteries! No one ever thinks to get batteries!) At any rate, we always pray for a white Christmas, rarely get one, but see the white stuff a couple of weeks to months later.
So, what’s it like where you reside? Where you grew up? I told one of the roofers that there was no way I could make it up North – I wear a jacket in the office here during the summer if the air’s turned on for too long. Go ahead, say it! WHAT A WIMP!
So I guess we COULD say that I have stayed at the “four seasons” - if we really stretch this. Well, who would’ve guessed?

Guess What? It’s HOT!

Summers in the South…well they’re hot and they’re humid. They are sticky; they are draining; they are saturating; they are smothering (worse than your Aunt Matilda's Christmas hug!). Did I mention that they're HOT…and HUMID! I’m sure that many of you have seen or experienced the extreme heat wave we seem to be having nationwide. Now, I haven’t studied up on this, so I can’t actually make such a statement as “record-breaking”, but, guys, IT’S HOT! Most days are hovering around the upper 90's. But we’ve seen numbers like 103 with heat indices of 115. Yes, I know that those numbers may be relatively common for people living in say, Arizona, California (shout out!), Hades, etc. But, there’s one thing we have here that certain areas of our nation don't seem to complain about – HUMIDITY! It’s just one of those things that you can’t explain – you just have to experience it to understand it!
For a month or two now, we have had a number of fellas working on a roof project (yes, I am going somewhere with this!). After seeing 2 or 3 companies walk off the job, we discovered the reason. Their complaint – the heat! They said there was no way they could stand the heat and humidity – that they had never experienced anything like it and simply couldn’t finish. Needless to say, one group finally came riding in on a white horse (named Dodge!) and saved the day. They claimed the same thing…never had they experienced this kind of weather. But…they were the only ones who stayed and completed the job. So kudos to them!! And thank you very much, gentlemen. Sorry that it was such a miserable job, but we appreciate it all the more!
Let me try to explain, for those of you who may have never known such an experience, what a hot, humid, Southern summer day is like. You have the heat, it’s quite hot, actually very hot. There’s no wind, no breeze (and you thank God if you’re walking down the sidewalk and someone opens a business door and you feel a bit of air! Might even duck in for a minute or two and pretend to look around! No - not me - never done that, myself!). So you walk out of your front door at 7:00 AM, and are hit in the face, instantaneously, with a wall of heat. OK, let’s say you walk outside and you feel the heat hit you in the face at the same time someone takes a steaming hot blanket and throws it onto you and drenches your hair, your face, and your clothes and you have to carry that sopping blanket around all day – THAT’S SUMMER IN THE SOUTH!
As much as this sounds like a complaint, it isn’t. I am thankful for the days I spent running around as a child in my neighborhood, playing while carrying around my sopping wet blanket, too stupid to go inside and cool off, listening to my father's perverbial warning, "Stay in or stay out!". So we stayed out until we had to come inside because we were all the shade of lobsters, hair glued into Ed Grimly position by the perspiritory wipings of the brow. And there was always that neighborhood kid that had a pool, but never invited anyone over! Yeah, thanks, dude. That's why you never knew where our secret clubhouse was! Then, FINALLY, someone's mom would always pull out the POPCICLES!! Thanks, MOM!
I guess everyone has something about the area in which they live that they either love or hate - something that makes the place endearing. I don’t hate the heat, but it would be nice if it would cool off just a bit. Maybe I'll stick my head in the FIRDGE for a while! Maybe pass out some POPCICLES! WANT ONE? I call grape!

Hilton, Schmilton - I'm Stayin' Here!

Driving through town, I couldn’t help but notice this sign outside of a local motel.  I pass it daily, but have never taken the time to actually READ it. (So much for their advertising efforts!)  And yes, I DID go back later and discretely snap this pic after my mind got to running rampant with halarity.
OK – just reading at face value here…is NEMAX the extra-strength, turbo version of the standard enema? And we all know that a motel room is just not a motel room without all the modern conveniences like a FIRDGE.   Those amenities add to the motel that would normally fall below standard, making it a 5 star dream.
Maybe this is actually the cheaper version of a day spa for those dreaming of colonics and saunas. Maybe this is the working man – the blue collar version – Lord knows it would be all I could afford. Maybe I’ll book m’self a day – a day of all out pampering complete with N EMAXES and FIRDGES! But for now, I guess I’ll just dream.