To Tell the "Trooch"

If you work with children on a daily basis, if you have ever or are currently raising children, or if you can even faintly remember being a child, then you can identify with a predicament in which I found myself a couple of years ago.

There are those little words in life - substitutes, if you will, that we use for "unmentionable" things. They are those funny little "hush" words like "poopoo", "teetee", or "potty". They are considered publically more appropriate than use of the actual word they replace. This is why we don't see 3yr olds running around whining, "I have to have a bowel movement, Mom!" Just doesn't even sound right, come on!

I am sure we can all remember sniggering at the words "goober", "doodie", "boobie", etc. I remember the shock and awe of hearing, for the first time, the word "pitywee". WHAT! And oh the giggling that did persue!

My predicament came when I found myself talking to my son during his bathtime when he was around 3 or 4 yrs old. I noticed him looking intently at his chest. He finally curiously posed the question, "Mommy, what do you call these?" Not sure exactly what "these" he was addressing, I answered generally, "That's your chest."

"No Mommy. These." For some reason, he wasn't satisfied with such a general answer. "That's your chest, son." Getting exasperated with my lack of understanding and non-chalant answer, he pointed straight to his nipples and stated very loudly, "NOT THAT! THESE!" I have always tried to shoot straight with my kids, but with some sort of common sense restraint mixed in there. Realizing I couldn't squirm out of this awkward hold in time unless I totally made up something (which I've never been quick enough on the draw to do), I sighed. "They're nipples, but you might not need to say that out loud in public." My warning was void because he didn't even like that word. "That's weird. Do I have to call them that?" Relieved, I elated back, "NO - Sure you don't! You can call them anything you want. A lot of people make up names for their private parts. That's fine!"

Without hesitation, he announced, "I'm gonna call mine Trooches!" What can you say...

But no - the story doesn't end there, my friend. You know how we love to provide our children the opportunity to have a pet in life (or in my opinion, it's generally a good idea)? Well, weeks later, while cruising the isles of a local pet store, my son and daughter spied an ever popular Beta fish. How easy, right? Take it home, give it some food now and then, clean the bowl (on occasion). Got it. So we purchased the little guy and took him home. Once home and settling in with our litte Beta, the inevitable "name game" pursued. After throwing out a couple of cute fishy names, I was once again shocked and awed when my son settled the whole delima by very calmly claiming, "I am calling him Trooch." And that was that - my daughter let out a deep "Trooooooch" and the name stuck.

I can say that, to this day, it is very hard to look at a Beta and not think, "Hey, look at that little nipple swimming around in the bowl."

So, be nice to your Trooch today! Give a Trooch a home! Don't forget to feed your Trooch, etc. etc. And here's hoping that in some language, somewhere in this world, the word "Trooch" is not a negative, offensive thing.

(In the years to follow, from the same place that I am sure the word "Trooch" was plucked, my daughter decided to name a certain anatomical feature "Ladybug". And, thanks to her, I again have a whole new view of a seemingly innocent little creature.