Apparently, I Like 'Em Crunchy

Sitting with a group of ladies recently, a conversation broke out about “lick lists”. And yes – I had to ask, “What’s a ‘lick list’?” A simple explanation is…a person who makes you so weak in the knees that you want to walk up and lick them. (Ok – you should know that I was blushing the whole time the conversation was taking place. Some people call me “Lily” because I seem to be quite naïve and very ditzy at times. I like the “eccentric” part of the definition.)

Back to the matter…having been separated for the last 9 months, I wasn’t sure just how active I should be in a forum of this nature. I decided it would be better to listen & ask questions but stop short of contributing. Actor after actor’s name was thrown onto each girl’s list – and I must say, I wasn’t surprised at most of the names. Let’s just say Gerard Butler, Josh Duhamel, Bradley Cooper – you would be dripping with saliva. After a while, and after realizing that I hadn’t taken part in the conversation aside from asking, “Now, who is he,” one of the gals asked, “And just why are you so quiet? Who would make YOUR lick list?”

OK – the card had been thrown…should I poker-face my way out of this and continue to be silent, or, now that I had been enlightened as to what this little pole was all about, innocently contribute? Honestly, I went blank…I contemplated too deeply…just who would I name? First of all, I have usually never been attracted to the "dreamy icons" of the times. I’m just weird that way. So I couldn’t readily pinpoint one in that realm. Second of all, being somewhat OCD, there is VERY LITTLE that would convince me to even think about putting my tongue on a man…unless he had just stepped out of a 3 or 4 phase shower that might even include a quick swabbing with an antiseptic! (OK – so I’m not really that bad, I have been married! I do have children. But it’s a very near reality. Let’s just say that it took years for me to get to where I am today – sorry if that offends anyone – not trying to write risqué – just stating a fact and hoping that if you’re reading this and have ever awakened with morning breath and “bed smell”, you understand!)

Hummm…they were all still staring, waiting with anticipation. That 5 seconds felt like 30 minutes! “Well, I like a guy with manly hands.” WHAT DID I JUST SAY?! Of all the things I could have come up with - it was regarding hands? To my surprise, I got a couple of “yes, girl”s. OK, my confidence up a little, I proclaimed, “I like tattoos & I am not offended by piercings. You pretty much put ink & metal on ‘em and I’ll do a double-take.”

One of the leaders of the round table laughed and said, “Humph…so you like’em a little crunchy, huh?” Well, unfamiliar with that term and already under the suspicion that I had waded off too deep into this one, I decided it was better to NOT ASK. So to all you decent “Crunchies” out there – much love! (Yes, I include you, Shaun Morgan.)