Cooking supper one night, I overheard my son and daughter as they were discussing school, friends, etc. My son shot his opinion out of how stupid something was and then commented that one of his friends had kissed a girl...RIGHT ON THE MOUTH! I said, "Eewww!" and he said, "Well, you and daddy kissed before!"
Somehow the conversation TOO quickly turned to "He just kissed her, Mom. It wasn't S-E-X!" I just laughed and of course we know the next question..."What is sex anyway?" (Ok - laughed too soon, and now it has been replaced by an awkward giggle) Now, in the last couple of months, my son has made various comments and asked vague questions. Occasionally, he will remark, "That's about sex, isn't it?" (regarding a Cialas (spelling?) commercial that he hates; or, one of my favorites is when he whispers (because he realizes that at 10 he is mature enough to say it, but at 8, his sister is too young to hear the word) "Are they having sex?" Suddenly, he informed me that ALL the guys at school already know about it - they talk about it.
I, instinctively, turned 5 shades and swallowed my stomach after realizing that the drum beats in my head were my heart and not some cool Seether song playing in my mind. The rest of the conversation went a little like this:
"Oh, me." (Mom)
"What!" (son)
"Well, what exactly do your friends SAY about it and where do they get their information?"
"I don't know! They talked to their parents."
"Oh! Well..."
"Mom, we've already had the sperm and the egg talk - don't you remember!?"
"Well, yes, but what else do you ...well...ok...oh me."
"Mom, we're WAY behind, here."
"OH!"
"Ok, well, I guess when you get ready...I mean...when do you want to discuss this?"
"I guess now."
"Well...I'm cooking supper, but, well...ummmm."
"Nah, mom, let's just wait 'til this weekend. Besides, we're fixin' (have I mentioned we're in the South) to eat...and I'm already a little nauseous!"
"OK! Me too, son."
NO JOKE! What a classic! Leave it to the kid! Love 'em both!!!
Needless to say, we have not yet had "the talk". The kids are going to their dad's this weekend, so time for me to spend some an afternoon in the bookstore with my head pulled into a book praying no one sees me or asks me if I need any help! Money that they do! I do have a jacket I could wear with a hood I could pull over my head...too much, you think? Who knows, I'm sure I'll learn something this weekend, myself!
6 comments:
You could always look on the computer and avoid having to go incognito. Just bookmark and show your son.
You will learn that the right words will come to you...even if your blood pressure rises and your arm pits drip sweat!! You don't need to be too explicit for him to get the idea. I think with my daughter I said it is something a man and a woman do when they feel love for one another. The rest will follow from there! Good luck and hopefully you won't both be nauseous.
Susie
What a great story. You know you COULD just leave the urban jungle that is the playground to teach him all he needs to know. As hard as it is to have that 'talk' with your own child, imagine what it's like when they ask you questions as a teacher. Sex and religion questions are the worst because I dread saying something wrong (like using Jesus and Hitler puppets) and have that come back at me by some parent who didn't hear what I really said but what was embellished by the time the kid got home.
Great story Andrea!
Real life...
okay...i can't even begin to imagine how you must have felt, but the convo was just funny. my son just turned 8, which means, i have 2 more years before he gets into these things...yikes!!! i don't know how to prep for this (perhaps, i'll keep reading your progress on the matter and learn from YOU!!!!)
it's almost the weekend, though, and he said he'll postpone "the talk" until then. are you ready? please update us!!!! :)
Hahaha! Thanks guys - what makes it so funny (terrifying) for me is knowing myself! I like totally the last person you would want to ask! How I have 2 children is a miracle (LOL -not that bad, just Modest Martha here). But thanks for the advice and the comments - life is funny at times and even halarious when you choose to find the humor. Now we just have to see if I can make it through the whole thing without either "swooning", having heart palpatations that would make a hummingbird envious, or giggling the whole time. For now, he has decided to just "hold off" he said. "I just don't think I want to do this yet." So more time bought - thank the Lord. And I will update!
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