“Wax On, Wax Off, Annie-son”

Just for reference sake, I am Annie – hence…you get it. Anyway, in the world of secretaries, you can be asked to do some pretty "servant-type" things from picking up someone’s laundry to making sure their cup of Starbucks (no offense, Ashley! LOL!) is waiting just how they order it to paying their personal bills. But, thankfully, never have I been subjected to such crappy scenarios. What I have found myself in the middle of are circumstances in which I look around and just shake my head and simply ask, “What am I doing holding this lamb?”


In this episode, we find the lowly, meek secretary, Annie, in the middle of assisting in preparation for the Christmas program “A Mayberry Christmas”. The program has grown in local popularity over the last few years, and after last year’s hiatus, has made a comeback due to popular demand. The program quickly becomes a machine of phone calls, meetings, script re-writes, prop preparation/ordering, lighting/sound programming, set building, casting, choir, cast and orchestra rehearsals, promotional items/advertising, and those “other various duties” that has been aforementioned. Of course, Annie is not involved in every aspect of the machine, but she never knows when she might be asked to step in and, as is the fine duty of the common secretary, assist when needed (save the universe).

Busily typing away at her computer, Annie looks up to see her boss come rushing into her office with a look of panic (OK – taking some dramatic liberties here). “Annie, I need you to do something, if you don’t mind!” At-Your-Service Annie jumps to her feet with a dutiful, “Yes Sir.” (A little too dramatic? I’ll back off just a bit.) Her boss goes on to explain that another organization has generously allowed us to borrow somewhere close to 80 or so headsets (little FM radio thingys that allow a group of people to all tune to the same frequency acting as little monitors in order to record vocal tracks…I think) and they all need battery checks and ear bud cleaning. (With a slight head turn…) “An ear what?” Annie asks. “The head sets need to all be wiped down with alcohol or whatever you can find to sterilize them. Do you mind?” Realizing that jobs are scarce and she would like to keep hers (in order to hide her super hero identity), Annie answers, “Sure. I’ll get right on that.”

Finding the large container full of headsets and realizing that she does not have enough batteries with which to replace the MANY inoperable ones, Annie dashes to the local Walmart to purchase an adequate supply of AA batteries. Upon returning to the office, she notices the lights off and a door left eerily half opened. She slowly approaches the door to find……(oh, sorry, had to do that, couldn’t resist)! Ok, upon her return, and realizing that she only has an hour or so to work on the headsets (because of course we don’t plan ahead and they must be used TONIGHT in a recording session – high drama), Annie retrieves a bottle of alcohol, some cotton balls, and a pair of very old plastic gloves from the office kitchen first aide kit (no joke, cause ya never know when you may need that flair that's in there) and runs back to begin the task of sterilizing the headsets (she is accompanied by a seemingly sweet older lady who has agreed to help-seacret arch-enemy disguise?  Nah, not this time.  No, seriously, a really sweet older lady did offer to help – did more talkin’ than work – but she was a sweetie.) No big deal right, just clean a couple (160 – OMW!) ear pieces and switch out some batteries. Ha! She does this kind of thing in her dreams before her alarm goes off in the morning! She’s got this!

An hour later, 160 ear buds and about 40 batteries later, she realizes just how GROSS THIS REALLY WAS, THANK YOU!!! Ummm…snap to reality here! I just got asked to sort through these things, not realizing that the cords would be all tangled up, etc., and…I JUST GOT ASKED TO CLEAN OTHER PEOPLES’ EAR WAX OFF OF A BUNCH OF THINGYS THEY’VE RAMMED DOWN IN THEIR EARS! UUUUggggggg!!!

Let’s just say that the beautiful, oh wait, I meant dutiful (still in the creative liberty mode there) Annie came across a chunk or two and some sticky stuff along the way. Yep, no glamour there, but …she still has her job and her identity. And it was a service to the wonderful people who did make the program an amazing, enjoyable event. (I guess I didn’t mind getting a little “waxy” with it for a greater good – but this OCD heroine narrowly escaped the evil, slimy clutches of the “Wax Warlock.”)


Join us Monday as we hear our heroine Annie as she asks, “You need woofle ball bats and moss for what?”